Thanks for the meme
As you can see, the blog looks different. It is *under construction*--ha ha-- which means I'm f*cking around and can't get it to look how I want. Links will be back when I get time... In the meantime, check out the awesome links to Google and "Edit-Me." Those rock.
Here is a meme. Try to contain your excitement.
5 Things Guests Ask For at Work
antacid
pillows
directions to Las Vegas
x-rated movies
milk
5 Things I've Read Aloud in the Hotel Lobby at 2 in the Morning
Rime of the Ancient Mariner
Mysteries of Udolpho
Hero and Leander
Flowers of Evil
Proverbs of Hell
5 Hotel Amenities
phones
bedding now with 50% less spiders
state of the art smoke detectors
guests can now swim in the pool for up to 1 hour with no adverse effects
aesthetically pleasing landscape paintings
5 Things I Do Instead of Working
This.
Drink Vodka.
Hide the coffee mugs of co-workers I don't like.
Name the decorative figurines, have conversations with them.
Think about death.
5 Things in the Lobby Fountain
Water.
Rocks.
Plants.
3 coins, each one seeking happiness.
Plastic fruit.
5 Best Prank Phone Calls I've Received
Girls tyring to sound like old ladies.
Long-sustained giggling.
Guy asking me if I had any "weed."
Kid asking me if we have hourly rates, then making porno music sounds.
Guy asking if we had any "rental" swimming trunks for the pool.
5 Books in the Hotel Library
Manufacturing Consent
A biography of Simone DeBeauvoir
Having the Frenchman's Baby
Psychology of the Imagination
Tom Clancy's NetForce: Point of Impact
5 Worst Names for a Cat
Psst
Mary Wollstonecraft Shelly
Jesus
Urkel
Lord Furrybottom
5 Things That Make our Hotel Breakfast Great
Coffee now served in two exciting flavors, hot and tepid.
Fruit Loops kept in seperate container apart from the Raisin Bran.
Waffles in geometrically pleasant circular shape.
No MSG used in scrambled eggs.
Powdered creamer, when sprinkled over the shoulder, wards off evil.
posted by David @ 1:42 AM
5 Comments:
That's what I call "An Excellent Post."
Nice to see you around....
Glad the twins didn't get you in the hallway.
Mua ha ha!
;)
I love memes because they give such detailed insight into a person's everyday. ;) Here are a few questions...humor me. ;)
a) do the guests ask for the porn by title?
b) what particlar fruits are plastic?
c) what kind of vodka?
Hey Marty! Why, thank you. :) Me and the twins have an understanding. The third floor is theirs. As long as I don't go up there, no elevators of blood. It's a good system. I'm happy with it.
T-next: Why hello there! Here are some answers!
a.) No, no particular titles. Usually it's something like: "Do you guys got movies? Like...with girls in them?" I'm tempted to say something like: "Oh, you mean Little Women with Susan Sarandon and Winona Ryder?"
b.)Grapes. We have these plastic fruit baskets on the second tier. There is a balcony where you can look down upon the fountain. Teenagers find it irresistable to disengage the plastic grapes from the basket and throw them into the fountain. Ha ha, those kids! I just want to smash their little faces in!
c.) Well, I don't reealllly drink vodka at work. But if I did, it would be Stoli. We had a guest that was stinking drunk during the day, stumbling around the halls with an empty bottle of vodka. He passed out and the maids had to carry him to his room. They threw away his empty bottle and when he came to he called down to the front desk to complain that the hotel staff had hit him on the head and stole his bottle of vodka! hee hee I hope to be that man in oh, 20 years. ;)
Simone is in the hotel library? Hm. I wouldn't have guessed.
Ah yes. Well, that's just how dedicated an employee I am. I pick up books at thrift stores and sometimes I feel the urge to deposit them in the hotel library to offset the effects of the Harlequin Romances and Tom Clancy books. It feels me with subversive glee to leave Simone and Sarte next to the pulpy stuff.
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