Fun with the GRE

I recently bought one of those study guides to assist those taking the GRE. I bought the Kaplan version because it looked the most inviting and it didn't cost thirty dollars. (Which is how I choose all my purchases.) My advisor told me not to worry about the quantitative portion of the test because it does not factor into whether they accept me into the BSU grad program (for English, at any rate.) So I'm totally ignoring that section, even though it feels weird. I can just see my advisor snickering to herself: "Ha! He bought it!" Right now, I'm concentrating on the verbal section.

I'm only about 20 pages in and I've already learned quite a bit about the test. For instance, it's a computer test and it analyzes how well you do on a question, adjusting the test based on your performance. What, am I being tested by Deep Blue or something? The very first question that is given to you is of medium difficulty as the computer assumes you're right in the middle of the curve. Miss it, they give you an easier one. Get it right, the next one is harder. And here's the thing: the harder questions are worth more points. Before I knew this, my brain was going through scenarios trying to figure out a way I could strategically miss harder ones just to get easier ones, but the system doesn't reward you for that.

The very first sample question stymied me. It was an Analogy question.

DIATRIBE: VITUPERATIVE ::

* flattery : sincere
* parody : lamentable
* equivocation : evasive
* dissertation : unasailable
* cliche : original

The fact that this was the first question and I didn't know it not only worried me, it pissed me off quite frankly. The analogy questions are all about the relationship between the two words. My problem is that I didn't know two of the words: vituperative and equivocation. (Question: Does anyone use the word vituperative? Answer: People in grad school, I guess.) Well, the sneaky GRE people KNOW that if you don't know a word, it's probably going to be something like vituperative. That's why they throw it in there. So, I looked them up and sure enough the relationship between diatribe and vituperative correlated to equivocation and evasive. Vituperative is, loosely, harshly abusive language; acrimonious. Equivocation means, loosely, to speak in ambiguity; having multiple meanings. After reading that, it made sense as I remembered the word "unequivocal" as having something to do with certainty.

The book was kind enough to give me a vocabulary list of the top 50 or so words that the GRE tends to test on. Some of them I knew (anomaly, enigma). Some of them I didn't (prevaricate, enervate). But most disturbingly, there were those I was sure I knew and was completely wrong. The word "prodigal," for example was something that I had gotten so wrapped in with the "prodigal son," that I was certain that "prodigal" meant returning. D'oh! (It means recklessly wasteful. Big difference.) Precipitate meant to cause to happen before anticipated; falling from a great height. What a bizzare word. I had a vague impression that to precipitate was to cause something, but the dictionary was way more specific. The moral of the story is that I need to look up all the words that the study guide gives me, regardless of whether I think I know them.

Anyways, I'm glad I picked up the study book. I clearly need it. Plus, it's fun to learn new words. Now I just gotta work "vituperative" into casual conversations.