Rebirth of the Droogs

I work at a hotel. Two hotels actually. Not simultaneously or anything. Don't be getting any wild ideas about my ability to be in two places at once. Because I can be you know. Be in two places at once. Unfortunately it's limited to a Starbucks in Newark and a rodeo in Nampa, Idaho. Which doesn't really benefit anyone, I'm afraid.

But I work two nights at the Holiday Inn Express (no, I can't explain the express, it's just a normal hotel, dude) and two nights at the Comfort Suites right next to it. In an extraordinary coincendence they're owned by the same man, an Indian named Kanti Patel. He is an actual Indian from India, not a Native American. He is a small man who is worth millions and never smiles. I'm not sure if it is a cultural thing or if he just doesn't like me. It could be a bit of both.

My job title is Night Auditor, which, in concept, would make an awesome Jerry Bruckheimer TV show. I would prefer Sean Penn play me, but more than likely it'd be Donal Logue. And I suppose that'd be okay too. Basically, my job consists of putting paper in the printer and then watch it print out huge stacks of unnecessary reports that nobody looks at. I also make coffee. I resent having to make coffee. It interferes with my "me" time. If I wanted to work, I would have gotten a job during the day. Hell-o!

Thankfully, most of the customers, aside from the weird-os, drunks, and the ghostly twin little girls that manifest themselves in the middle of an empty hallway, are asleep. This leaves me plenty of time to "keep it real" playing on the internet, watching Adult Swim, and occasionally, studying for one of my classes.

Tonight, it's been a little crazy, because there are scores of pre-teens running around like drunken sea otters. From what I can piece together, there's some sort of school organization staying here on their way to play some sort of organized sport. Consequently, there are few adults to rein in their pre-teen antics. There were about 8 pre-teen girls, running through the halls like the Droogs in "A Clockwork Orange," giggling and screaming and taking pictures. It would have reversed the opinion of any Pro-Lifer, let me tell you. I finally told them to shut up in a really nice way and they asked me if it was too late to use the pool. (Yes, yes it was.)

Finally, it's 4:45 in the morning and things have settled down. They're probably asleep. Time for unscheduled, unrequested wake-up calls!