In the beginning...

God created caffe frappes. And, by and large, it was good. The foam and the little shaved cinnamon sprinkles came later, but really, it was good.

This is my first attempt at a blog. It's a weird concept. I'm not sure who is supposed to read it. The government? I'm hip to them already. Hmmm. I suppose I'm writing this for the nameless "They" that haunt the shadows of my life. I know they're there because I can hear them snickering. But in addition to the members of "They," (who incidentally are composed of Hal, Gina, Mahesh, and a talking cocker spaniel named Duke), I imagine I'm mainly writing for myself. Anyone else is free to read this.

In fact, with this blog, I hope to not only indulge my narcissitic tendencies by reflecting on every meaningless nuance of my life in a manner that would have Alanis Morrisette beside herself with envy, I humbly hope to be of service to the world at large. Yes, this is a humanitarian effort, calling all the lost lonely souls of Planet Earth. If you've ever had an imaginary conversation with a character in a book... If you've ever listened to the same David Byrne track five times in a row... If you've ever wondered why the universe was plotting against you, specifically... Well, I probably can't help you, but I can tell you how I cope with the problems of good, evil, love, death, God, Goddess, Walt Disney, The Food Network, and other countless uncertain realities.

And in the end, that's what it's all about, isn't it? The UNCERTAIN reality, explained by God only by the various post-it notes left in his absence which only specify where He was going. (To the store.) When He'll be back. (563 billion years from now) And what we're supposed to do in the meantime. (Try not to kill each other.)

So... friends... enemies... the totally apathetic and bored... Welcome to the Fun Spot. Population: You. (And me. And well, THEY, too.)